no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize