Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
