I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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