I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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