It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
