lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
