Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
