I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
