Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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