Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
