it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
