I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
