we have officially lost it.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
