i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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