First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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