You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
