Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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