so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
