After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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