So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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