We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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