I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
