puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I will be naked everywhere
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
