Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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