um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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