i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize