I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
