as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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