I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
this boner is exhausting
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
