I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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