One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
