Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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