I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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