i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
i think my cat just said my name.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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