Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
