It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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