i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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