I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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