It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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