Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
