Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
