I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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