It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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