Your face is a jimmy john
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
