you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
