I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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