I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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