Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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