Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
