I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
