You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
