So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize