We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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