WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
