good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
