What did we do last night that was yellow?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
