I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize