I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it