He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???