i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
