I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
