just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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